:: this place::

i hate this place.i hate the way my shoes get all wet and soaked when it rains.i hate the way the place is always so packed and the way i have to say thousands excuse-me(s) before i could get to the class.i hate the suffocatingly dark,messy and impossibly warm classroom.i hate the dingy hallways.i hate it that sometimes when i read a really good book or saw a great movie and i can't find anyone whom i could share them with.i hate the way that here, i could get so lonely even when i'm surrounded by so many people.i hate the way plastics and sweet wrappers are strewn all over the classrooms.i hate it that I can’t jog alone because the streets here are isolated.i hate it that i have to attend the mentor-mentee meetings and the way i have to play all those stupid lame games.i hate it when that guy speaks so lembab-ly and the way he have to always say the same things over and over again AND the way he always hesitates before he says something.i hate this place.i hate it that i'm stuck here.i hate the fact that this is all partly my fault.and i hate the way i wouldn’t admit that i hate this place because to me it is, in a way, admitting that i'm a failure.and it’s pathethic anyway.but lord,i hate.i hate.i hate.I HATE.

but i love it that sometimes,i do find someone that i can share the books that i love reading with.i love it when the persons that i've always come across but had never talked to suddenly smiles at me.i love it that ika really enjoyed the video blog that i showed her.i love the occasional days when i wake up, knowing that crappy classes awaits me, but I still feel inexplicably happy.i love watching the impossibly quiet guy that always sits at the back of the bus.i love it today that I found out the person that I’ve been afraid to even say hello to is actually quite nice.i love the way I have a place to call my own (eventhough I’m technically renting).i love it when the familiar faces that i always come across but had never talked to suddenly smiles at me.i love the way that with certain people here,I do things that I normally wouldn’t do.i love it that we have to walk 1318 steps to mmz for dinner whenever we’re terribly hungry but still too lazy to cook.i love the way we counted the steps it took for us to get back to the apartment from mmz.and i love the way we would sometimes laugh over nothing.i love the occasional visits that my friends pay me.i love it when they get to crash my apartment.i love walking at the playground after it rained.i love the weekends spent with wonderful ppl that I get to look forward to.i love uncle’s kedai.i love the pleasant surprises that I get from the simplest things here, like the time when a friend knows my favourite song even when I didn’t tell him.but most of all, I know that someday, when I look back, I’d realize that despite my immense hatred for this place,I did manage to make some pretty good memories here.

Oh,btw,the realization does not change anything.i still hate this place.